4 - Mexican Transportation

Love'n'Hate Mexico Number Four: Mexican Transportation

I can go anywhere in Mexico for about 35 cents.

Okay, this isn't entirely true, but Mexico has a pretty impressive transportation system that extends to every weird little corner I wanted to go to. Busses seem to come in all shapes and sizes depending on where you're going - the more rural it is, the tinier the transport mode, which invariably leads you to take a ride on the Best Damn Transportation option available - the Collectivo!

A Collectivo is basically a Collective Taxi, of a sort. (There are actually collective taxis that people share), but a true Collectivo goes on one specific route, generally back and forth in back directions all day long. A Collectivo consists of a pickup truck with a Conestoga wagon-style blue tarp over top, with benches in the interior. You stand along the route, hail one down, and climb in the back. It seats about eight, but often there are twelve or fifteen people inside. This is Mexican travel like you read about - people carrying chickens or loads of produce are not uncommon, and as the truck rumbles off after picking you up, you take a seat or just hang on until you get where you're going, then you press a little button (crudely) wired to one of the rails and they pull over. You get out and pay the driver 35 centavos - 35 cents, more or less, to you and me.

My favorite Collectivo ride happened In the Middle of Nowhere on my way to Puerto Angel. The bus driver ($1.35 for an hour's ride from Puerto Escondido) let me out at an empty crossroads and told me to wait under a tree. After fifteen minutes I was certain I was being filmed for the Mexican version of "Candid Camera."

"See how long the dumb gringo will wait before completely losing his mind."

Alas, such was not to be, for a Collectivo arrived and picked me up and took me the last six klicks down the road to Puerto Angel. In the cab with me was a woman with a chicken, and another with a bucket full of tamarind pods, and she gave me some. I kept the seeds with the idea that they'd make cool beads. And when we got off in Puerto Angel - it still only cost thirty-five cents. Excellent!

One Caveat of my Mexican travel experiences: Before I left, my mother, a veteran traveler-on-the-cheap, warned me that Mexican busses were very likely to be extremely low on ventilation and extremely high on heat. I found the opposite to be true. Today's Mexican busses have enough air-conditioning going on that you could Quite Easily hang sides of beef inside them. Don't even THINK about taking a long-distance Mexican bus ride in shorts and a t-shirt - be prepared to take the warmest clothes you have, because chances are good you will need them.

The Young'n'the Restless Partya gregoryp(tm) moment, relayed to Mark Pesce via IM

April 25, 2006: Mark was in Australia, coding. I was at my house listening to Aphex Twin preparing to watch Season One episodes of Six Feet Under. And we collided.

(00:20:41) markdpesce: heya
(00:20:45) markdpesce: just having a short break
(00:20:51) markdpesce: got my database queries working right
(00:20:57) markdpesce: now i've got to do something intelligent with them
(00:21:06) markdpesce: whassup?
(00:22:05) rufftrademark: database queries?
(00:22:20) rufftrademark: whew. I'm still tryring to figure out how to make Apache work.
(00:22:25) rufftrademark: <----------------gave up.
(00:22:30) rufftrademark: Painting instead.
(00:22:49) rufftrademark: Was shaving when you rang first.
(00:23:58) rufftrademark: <--------listening to Aphex Twin/
(00:23:59) markdpesce: and yes, database queries to pull sensor records out of the database so i can put them into Google Calendar
(00:24:06) markdpesce: i used to love Aphex Twin
(00:24:08) markdpesce: I don't anymore
(00:24:10) rufftrademark: Sensor records?
(00:24:11) markdpesce: too noisy
(00:24:13) rufftrademark: Why not?
(00:24:19) markdpesce: their older stuff is ok
(00:24:21) markdpesce: but then he got all weird
(00:24:25) markdpesce: and disturbing
(00:24:30) markdpesce: and not good sounding
(00:24:34) rufftrademark: ooooooooops now listening to Magnetic Fields. Love them
(00:24:42) markdpesce: good for you
(00:24:46) markdpesce: it's all cold and wintry here
(00:24:48) markdpesce: ANZAC day
(00:24:51) rufftrademark: 69 Love Songs is just yummy.
(00:24:54) rufftrademark: Anzac?
(00:24:59) markdpesce: which is like Veterans Day, only they take it seriously
(00:25:04) rufftrademark: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
(00:25:07) markdpesce: Very, very, very seriously
(00:25:12) rufftrademark: Mmm.
(00:25:13) markdpesce: it' commemorates Gallipolli
(00:25:20) markdpesce: (look it up)
(00:25:23) rufftrademark: Gallipoli...wasn' that a movie?
(00:25:26) markdpesce: yes
(00:25:27) rufftrademark: (heh)
(00:25:29) markdpesce: about the tragic event
(00:25:38) rufftrademark: thank god it was a movie.
(00:25:41) markdpesce: Bruce Beresford/Mel Gibson
(00:25:44) markdpesce: oh no wait
(00:25:48) rufftrademark: else i would'n't know at alll...
(00:26:01) markdpesce: it was Peter Weir/ Mel Gibson
(00:26:06) rufftrademark: I am shivering I'm so wasted tired.
(00:26:11) rufftrademark: brrrrrrrr.
(00:26:13) markdpesce: comes between "Picnic at Hanging Rock" and "The Last Wave"
(00:26:16) markdpesce: then go to bed
(00:26:34) rufftrademark: Not yet. Another stirring episode of SFU first, while I work on this painting.
(00:26:45) markdpesce: heh
(00:26:49) rufftrademark: <--------------painting Chinese characters.
(00:26:51) markdpesce: you're just like Claire
(00:26:57) markdpesce: mixed with a bit of Billy
(00:26:57) markdpesce: well
(00:26:59) rufftrademark: CLAIRE IS MY DREAM GIRL.
(00:27:01) markdpesce: a lot of Billy
(00:27:06) rufftrademark: Billy?
(00:27:11) markdpesce: Brenda's brother
(00:27:15) rufftrademark: Oh.
(00:27:17) rufftrademark: Him.
(00:27:23) markdpesce: the one with the serious manic-depressive disorder
(00:27:30) rufftrademark: Billy's a SPAZ and a half.
(00:27:33) rufftrademark: But I've been there.
(00:27:36) markdpesce: oh he has his charms
(00:27:38) markdpesce: you'll see
(00:27:40) rufftrademark: It's a little unsettling to watch him
(00:27:47) markdpesce: too close to home i reckon
(00:27:53) rufftrademark: The interplay with That FAMILY is grotesque
(00:27:58) markdpesce: heh
(00:28:04) markdpesce: that's what happens with both parents shrinks
(00:28:09) markdpesce: i've seen that in real life
(00:28:10) rufftrademark: his illness is easier than their incest. yuck.
(00:28:17) markdpesce: heh
(00:28:26) rufftrademark: The mother should Simply Be Killed.
(00:28:31) markdpesce: yes well
(00:28:38) markdpesce: you can't always get what you want
(00:28:49) rufftrademark: gross gross gross LA parasites - like a movie.
(00:29:04) markdpesce: except there really are people like that
(00:29:06) markdpesce: in LA
(00:29:13) markdpesce: and i presume in New Mexico
(00:29:20) markdpesce: in Santa Fe, surely
(00:29:26) rufftrademark: classic story - the other night a reporter form the New York Times made me take a piss in a bidet while she quieried me...
(00:29:34) rufftrademark: Fucking OFF.
(00:29:41) markdpesce: huh?
(00:29:43) rufftrademark: about an artist I know.
(00:29:46) markdpesce: you don't piss in a bidet
(00:30:01) rufftrademark: I'm heading to the bathroom, piss like a racehorse in need.
(00:30:12) rufftrademark: The door is open. I don't see she's inside...
(00:30:15) markdpesce: ok i'm going back to coding
(00:30:20) markdpesce: oh you're telling the story
(00:30:21) rufftrademark: Siting on the fucking john in a caftan.
(00:30:22) markdpesce: go on...
(00:30:33) markdpesce: so she's liberal
(00:30:34) rufftrademark: "I'm so sorry," I say, and back out...
(00:30:43) rufftrademark: "Close the door," she says,
(00:30:48) rufftrademark: "But of course."
(00:31:02) rufftrademark: "No," she says. "Close it and step back inside."
(00:31:08) rufftrademark: "Ummm...but I,"
(00:31:13) markdpesce: that's when i would have left
(00:31:28) rufftrademark: "Olga, "(we've been introduced,) "I REALLY have to pee."
(00:31:38) rufftrademark: "Then use the fucking bidet. Close the goddamn door."
(00:31:44) markdpesce: and who the fuck in the united states has a fucking bidet?
(00:31:52) markdpesce: how fru-fru is that???
(00:32:06) rufftrademark: I can't resist saying at this point, "You know Olga, I generally pay at least a quarter to listen to a woman pee."
(00:32:09) markdpesce: we're americans - WE TAKE SHITS
(00:32:18) markdpesce: oh, lovely
(00:32:22) markdpesce: just play right into it
(00:32:24) rufftrademark: Love that?
(00:32:33) markdpesce: no
(00:32:37) markdpesce: i'm sure she was getting off on it too
(00:32:40) markdpesce: the door was open
(00:32:46) markdpesce: she wanted someone in there
(00:32:51) markdpesce: *sheesh*
(00:33:06) rufftrademark: So I'm taking a piss in the fucking bidet and she's asking me all about this woman artist I know, wanting to know if I know what's she's really all about, asking if I've SLEPT WITH HER (I had)
(00:33:12) markdpesce: can someone somewhere please have a non-neurotic, not-fetishized moment, AT SOME POINT
(00:33:14) rufftrademark: But I said no...
(00:33:29) markdpesce: good. lie to the media
(00:33:41) rufftrademark: (because I kiss and tell, but not with the New York Times reporter in a caftan on the john.)
(00:33:53) markdpesce: oh that's discernment, there.
(00:34:02) rufftrademark: And she says, "What do you need to give me what I want?"
(00:34:14) rufftrademark: And I'm taken aback, because I'm not really sure what she means...
(00:34:17) markdpesce: this story just keeps getting creepier by the m inute
(00:34:27) rufftrademark: And I just say, "Olga. We have a problem."
(00:34:29) markdpesce: and it's already fairly creepy
(00:34:30) rufftrademark: "What?"
(00:34:42) rufftrademark: "I don't believe there's a drain on the bidet."
(00:35:07) rufftrademark: "Our poor (FILTHY RICH) hosts are going to find beer-drenched urine in their bidet any minute now."
(00:35:27) rufftrademark: "Christ," she says. "Is that all you need?"
(00:35:51) markdpesce: you can't have a bidet without a drain
(00:35:51) rufftrademark: And she stands up, the caftan flying open, (and I like pussy, but GASP is all I have to say)
(00:36:03) markdpesce: ick. pussy.
(00:36:07) markdpesce: eeeeeewwwwwww.
(00:36:30) rufftrademark: And I say, "Well, shit, I wouldn't mind a gig with the New York Times - though I supopse it's a fait accompli who I'd have to blow to get one."
(00:36:47) markdpesce: as long as it's not tom friedman, you're doing alright.
(00:36:54) rufftrademark: <------------------------bowing vigorously.
(00:36:57) markdpesce: Nick Kristof is kinda cute, actually.
(00:37:32) rufftrademark: <-----------pleased to have lied to the media, not lain with her.
(00:38:01) markdpesce: You're such an infamous star-fucker, I can't see how it matters.
(00:38:13) rufftrademark: "And that concludes the gregoryp(tm) minute. Please return to your regularly scheduled coding."
(00:38:35) markdpesce: thanks. i feel better already.
(00:38:46) rufftrademark: (wash your hands first.)
(00:38:49) markdpesce: ok i'm back to work here.

Love'n'Hate Number Five: Mezcal

A shameless plug for Del Maguey Mezcal,
Taos artist Ron Cooper's other project.

The first night I was in Mexico, I was drinking Mezcal. It was a social thing, really - people were really into drinking it with one another, pretty much all of the time. But it was pretty strange that *I* would be drinking Mezcal, since as a general rule, spirits tend to make me crazier than I am and I know this, and, as a general rule, I tend never to drink straight shots of anything. And I've known for years (since college) that drinking Tequila is a bad idea for gregoryp(tm) - so why did I make an exception in Mexico?

I tried to kid myself into believing that Mezcal was a higher grade of tequila, and that it really *did* possess some kind of spiritual or "higher" properties than it's lowlier cousin. There were a couple of times when it seemed like I had a special kind of high going on - but there were just as many times, maybe as many as three or four - when my experiences with Mezcal were just a little too special, featuring complete blackout drinking that I have zero memories of - though lots of people were willing to tell me all about what I did when I was that gone.

One particular night was really something - I had a dream that I was in the ocean in the middle of the night, playing in the waves, perhaps even on Playa Zicatela, aka "the Mexican pipeline" and a dangerous place to be in the water in broad daylight stone-cold sober. In the dream, I never felt "wet" per se, which is the only thread that allows me to hang on to the belief that I actually *was* dreaming and I hadn't had a blackout notion to go in the water all by myself, only to wake up and then somehow convince myself it was a dream.

Mezcal is that weird. Not to say that I didn't enjoy some of it - the crema Mezcals were a really excellent way to waste away an afternoon with friends and seemed a lot less inclined to bring one to any real harm. My friend Antonio, when I began to explain this sort of half-fear half-fascination I had going on, eagerly suggested I read "Under the Volcano" by Malcolm Lowry, which I understand is a vivid account of trying to drink one's self to death with Mezcal in Mexico. I haven't yet read it - I probably should before I go back, for while I eventually swore off the stuff completely for safety's sake, I also developed a taste for one particular local Oaxacan brand called Don Francisco Cafe Mezcal, aged to perfection with coffee beans and sugar. My goddess...if I could've brought some back, I'd be drinking it right now.

Love'n'Hate: Mexico Revisited

Today's date is April 22nd and I returned from Mexico on the 6th of March. Six weeks I've been back in the US and while it's been nice to be home, I've come to realize that Mexico was really a kind of chicken soup for my soul, despite the first post I wrote about it when I got back.

While I was in Mexico, I started working on a Top Ten List of Stuff I Loved About Mexico so that I wouldn't forget when I got home. And I did more or less forget - I had to, otherwise I'd miss it too much. In fact, I think that's why My First Post Back had so much vitriol going on with it - if you can't have what you love, better to dis it completely. Some kind of kooky control issue that really felt necessary when I got back.

The United States is still such a sucky horrible place right now. All the 9-11 stuff that I thought about in the first couple of years after the event is actually beginning to surface to popular consciousness, and the President's approval ratings are WAAAAAY the fuck down, but it seems like all the so-called "opposition" party wants to do (you know, those pussies called Democrats) is use the Presdient's unpopularity to capitalize on the mid-term elections. The only thing worse in America right now than the Bush Administration is the weak-kneed Democractic Party. But with both Tom Daschle and Hillary Clinton having voted for war in the first place - what does anyone really expect from those ASSholes?

Since arriving back in the States, I've tried to continue with some of the habits I picked up in Mexico. I'm still more or less off bread and other white products - rice, potatoes, tortillas, etc. I lost fifteen pounds in Mexico doing that and getting out everyday. I'm not as active, because I live in the fucking desert and there's no water to jump into. I'm drinking A LOT less than in Mexico - it's more expensive here, and it's harder to walk around with a bottle of beer. But the best part is that I've managed to Continue to Avoid Reading the Fucking Newspaper - so you won't hear a damn word about Our Latest Stupid Adventure in Iran, because I don't know anymore about it than I knew in Mexico when I told a bunch of German kids, "Of course my government is going to invade Iran. And you're government will back us, so fuck the fuck off with your moral righteousness about my democracy."

In any case - I posted a lot of crap about how lame Mexico was when I got back, and part of it was defense mechanism and part of it was true. Mexico is not for the timid. It's loaded with wild contradictions that can feel like a four-alarm fire in the right mindframe. However, there were a lot of things to love - and few things worth bitching about - and here they are, in no particular order. (I might move them around later, when I add pictures and stuff.)

New Doc on 9-11

I'm watching it right now.

Libby Says Bush Approved the Leak

Yeah, so? He'll still get to be President for the rest of his term. He lied and no one cares. Okay, now, back to the party.