The Young'n'the Restless Partya gregoryp(tm) moment, relayed to Mark Pesce via IM

April 25, 2006: Mark was in Australia, coding. I was at my house listening to Aphex Twin preparing to watch Season One episodes of Six Feet Under. And we collided.

(00:20:41) markdpesce: heya
(00:20:45) markdpesce: just having a short break
(00:20:51) markdpesce: got my database queries working right
(00:20:57) markdpesce: now i've got to do something intelligent with them
(00:21:06) markdpesce: whassup?
(00:22:05) rufftrademark: database queries?
(00:22:20) rufftrademark: whew. I'm still tryring to figure out how to make Apache work.
(00:22:25) rufftrademark: <----------------gave up.
(00:22:30) rufftrademark: Painting instead.
(00:22:49) rufftrademark: Was shaving when you rang first.
(00:23:58) rufftrademark: <--------listening to Aphex Twin/
(00:23:59) markdpesce: and yes, database queries to pull sensor records out of the database so i can put them into Google Calendar
(00:24:06) markdpesce: i used to love Aphex Twin
(00:24:08) markdpesce: I don't anymore
(00:24:10) rufftrademark: Sensor records?
(00:24:11) markdpesce: too noisy
(00:24:13) rufftrademark: Why not?
(00:24:19) markdpesce: their older stuff is ok
(00:24:21) markdpesce: but then he got all weird
(00:24:25) markdpesce: and disturbing
(00:24:30) markdpesce: and not good sounding
(00:24:34) rufftrademark: ooooooooops now listening to Magnetic Fields. Love them
(00:24:42) markdpesce: good for you
(00:24:46) markdpesce: it's all cold and wintry here
(00:24:48) markdpesce: ANZAC day
(00:24:51) rufftrademark: 69 Love Songs is just yummy.
(00:24:54) rufftrademark: Anzac?
(00:24:59) markdpesce: which is like Veterans Day, only they take it seriously
(00:25:04) rufftrademark: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
(00:25:07) markdpesce: Very, very, very seriously
(00:25:12) rufftrademark: Mmm.
(00:25:13) markdpesce: it' commemorates Gallipolli
(00:25:20) markdpesce: (look it up)
(00:25:23) rufftrademark: Gallipoli...wasn' that a movie?
(00:25:26) markdpesce: yes
(00:25:27) rufftrademark: (heh)
(00:25:29) markdpesce: about the tragic event
(00:25:38) rufftrademark: thank god it was a movie.
(00:25:41) markdpesce: Bruce Beresford/Mel Gibson
(00:25:44) markdpesce: oh no wait
(00:25:48) rufftrademark: else i would'n't know at alll...
(00:26:01) markdpesce: it was Peter Weir/ Mel Gibson
(00:26:06) rufftrademark: I am shivering I'm so wasted tired.
(00:26:11) rufftrademark: brrrrrrrr.
(00:26:13) markdpesce: comes between "Picnic at Hanging Rock" and "The Last Wave"
(00:26:16) markdpesce: then go to bed
(00:26:34) rufftrademark: Not yet. Another stirring episode of SFU first, while I work on this painting.
(00:26:45) markdpesce: heh
(00:26:49) rufftrademark: <--------------painting Chinese characters.
(00:26:51) markdpesce: you're just like Claire
(00:26:57) markdpesce: mixed with a bit of Billy
(00:26:57) markdpesce: well
(00:26:59) rufftrademark: CLAIRE IS MY DREAM GIRL.
(00:27:01) markdpesce: a lot of Billy
(00:27:06) rufftrademark: Billy?
(00:27:11) markdpesce: Brenda's brother
(00:27:15) rufftrademark: Oh.
(00:27:17) rufftrademark: Him.
(00:27:23) markdpesce: the one with the serious manic-depressive disorder
(00:27:30) rufftrademark: Billy's a SPAZ and a half.
(00:27:33) rufftrademark: But I've been there.
(00:27:36) markdpesce: oh he has his charms
(00:27:38) markdpesce: you'll see
(00:27:40) rufftrademark: It's a little unsettling to watch him
(00:27:47) markdpesce: too close to home i reckon
(00:27:53) rufftrademark: The interplay with That FAMILY is grotesque
(00:27:58) markdpesce: heh
(00:28:04) markdpesce: that's what happens with both parents shrinks
(00:28:09) markdpesce: i've seen that in real life
(00:28:10) rufftrademark: his illness is easier than their incest. yuck.
(00:28:17) markdpesce: heh
(00:28:26) rufftrademark: The mother should Simply Be Killed.
(00:28:31) markdpesce: yes well
(00:28:38) markdpesce: you can't always get what you want
(00:28:49) rufftrademark: gross gross gross LA parasites - like a movie.
(00:29:04) markdpesce: except there really are people like that
(00:29:06) markdpesce: in LA
(00:29:13) markdpesce: and i presume in New Mexico
(00:29:20) markdpesce: in Santa Fe, surely
(00:29:26) rufftrademark: classic story - the other night a reporter form the New York Times made me take a piss in a bidet while she quieried me...
(00:29:34) rufftrademark: Fucking OFF.
(00:29:41) markdpesce: huh?
(00:29:43) rufftrademark: about an artist I know.
(00:29:46) markdpesce: you don't piss in a bidet
(00:30:01) rufftrademark: I'm heading to the bathroom, piss like a racehorse in need.
(00:30:12) rufftrademark: The door is open. I don't see she's inside...
(00:30:15) markdpesce: ok i'm going back to coding
(00:30:20) markdpesce: oh you're telling the story
(00:30:21) rufftrademark: Siting on the fucking john in a caftan.
(00:30:22) markdpesce: go on...
(00:30:33) markdpesce: so she's liberal
(00:30:34) rufftrademark: "I'm so sorry," I say, and back out...
(00:30:43) rufftrademark: "Close the door," she says,
(00:30:48) rufftrademark: "But of course."
(00:31:02) rufftrademark: "No," she says. "Close it and step back inside."
(00:31:08) rufftrademark: "Ummm...but I,"
(00:31:13) markdpesce: that's when i would have left
(00:31:28) rufftrademark: "Olga, "(we've been introduced,) "I REALLY have to pee."
(00:31:38) rufftrademark: "Then use the fucking bidet. Close the goddamn door."
(00:31:44) markdpesce: and who the fuck in the united states has a fucking bidet?
(00:31:52) markdpesce: how fru-fru is that???
(00:32:06) rufftrademark: I can't resist saying at this point, "You know Olga, I generally pay at least a quarter to listen to a woman pee."
(00:32:09) markdpesce: we're americans - WE TAKE SHITS
(00:32:18) markdpesce: oh, lovely
(00:32:22) markdpesce: just play right into it
(00:32:24) rufftrademark: Love that?
(00:32:33) markdpesce: no
(00:32:37) markdpesce: i'm sure she was getting off on it too
(00:32:40) markdpesce: the door was open
(00:32:46) markdpesce: she wanted someone in there
(00:32:51) markdpesce: *sheesh*
(00:33:06) rufftrademark: So I'm taking a piss in the fucking bidet and she's asking me all about this woman artist I know, wanting to know if I know what's she's really all about, asking if I've SLEPT WITH HER (I had)
(00:33:12) markdpesce: can someone somewhere please have a non-neurotic, not-fetishized moment, AT SOME POINT
(00:33:14) rufftrademark: But I said no...
(00:33:29) markdpesce: good. lie to the media
(00:33:41) rufftrademark: (because I kiss and tell, but not with the New York Times reporter in a caftan on the john.)
(00:33:53) markdpesce: oh that's discernment, there.
(00:34:02) rufftrademark: And she says, "What do you need to give me what I want?"
(00:34:14) rufftrademark: And I'm taken aback, because I'm not really sure what she means...
(00:34:17) markdpesce: this story just keeps getting creepier by the m inute
(00:34:27) rufftrademark: And I just say, "Olga. We have a problem."
(00:34:29) markdpesce: and it's already fairly creepy
(00:34:30) rufftrademark: "What?"
(00:34:42) rufftrademark: "I don't believe there's a drain on the bidet."
(00:35:07) rufftrademark: "Our poor (FILTHY RICH) hosts are going to find beer-drenched urine in their bidet any minute now."
(00:35:27) rufftrademark: "Christ," she says. "Is that all you need?"
(00:35:51) markdpesce: you can't have a bidet without a drain
(00:35:51) rufftrademark: And she stands up, the caftan flying open, (and I like pussy, but GASP is all I have to say)
(00:36:03) markdpesce: ick. pussy.
(00:36:07) markdpesce: eeeeeewwwwwww.
(00:36:30) rufftrademark: And I say, "Well, shit, I wouldn't mind a gig with the New York Times - though I supopse it's a fait accompli who I'd have to blow to get one."
(00:36:47) markdpesce: as long as it's not tom friedman, you're doing alright.
(00:36:54) rufftrademark: <------------------------bowing vigorously.
(00:36:57) markdpesce: Nick Kristof is kinda cute, actually.
(00:37:32) rufftrademark: <-----------pleased to have lied to the media, not lain with her.
(00:38:01) markdpesce: You're such an infamous star-fucker, I can't see how it matters.
(00:38:13) rufftrademark: "And that concludes the gregoryp(tm) minute. Please return to your regularly scheduled coding."
(00:38:35) markdpesce: thanks. i feel better already.
(00:38:46) rufftrademark: (wash your hands first.)
(00:38:49) markdpesce: ok i'm back to work here.