Mapping San Diego Free Wireless

So we're back in Sinbad's - and it's because it's the source of the only damn Freenet in all of the beach districts we've been to. Someone needs to tell San Diego that they're grossly behind the times when it comes to free wireless - as it stands, we've had to get drunk in Sinbad's two days in a row just to get any work done. Not that this is a bad thing - we just happen to be getting more drunk than work done. But hey - we're on vacation, right?

We had the wireless laptop when we left town - crazed on mushrooms and mescaline, we were certain we would need it. And we were certain that in the BEEEG CEETY of San Diego, we would find wireless connections galore to tap into. Boy, were we ever wrong.

On day one - Monday? - we started asking around. The first place we went was to Newbreak on Sunset Cliffs, and we asked. Ben asked, actually, because after all, I saw no open laptops and just assumed. They told us we could find wireless access at their "other location", located Right on the Beach. Not a bad place to cop a muffin and some coffee and check our e-mail all at the same time. So we went there - sans laptop - to check out the scene. Sure, they had a wireless system - but it wasn't free. It would run us five bucks a day for a pass, but that seemed cheap enough, considering we were in a strange city. We decided that this place would be our morning coffee spot.

Tuesday morning came around - and guess what? There was no one to pay. That is - it wasn't a secure network with five bucks to access a password, payable to the barista over the counter. We'd need a *CREDIT CARD* to buy a day pass. Not that we didn't have them, but it just seemed so impersonal, so I took a couple bucks and slid them into the public Internet terminals and began googling "San Diego free wireless" just to see what I'd find.

And what I found was - not a lot. But I did find a listing for a place in Old Town called The Living Room that had free wireless. And it turned out that our hostesses (with the mostesses) spent a lot of time studying there so they nknew just where it was. And we went there - and found that they *HAD* free wireless "just last week" but they were switching services now and had nothing.

So...it seemed like only a matter of time before we were going to have to hit up the Evil Empire (aka Starbucks) in order to get our GODDAMN E-MAIL. No one really wanted to do that. But we really had to check some shit out - but the first thing we needed to do was go check out Ben's new school - the International Professional Bodywork School - over in Pacific Beach.

Across the street was a Starbuck's - I really needed to check my mail - and so I went. But THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS(!!!) were wireless on a T-Mobile network, and for $29.99 a month, I could get access. Fuck that shit. Fuck it in the neck. So I started walking down the street (Ben had an appointment with admissions) to see what I could find. And eventually, I saw a sign that read "M2M Wireless Systems." And I thought to myself, "Well, those guys must know where we can find free wireless access."

Inside was a guy sitting alone in front of a laptop, (scrolling porn, I might add) and he said, "Shit man, you gotta be kidding - there's wireless everywhere. We don't even have a connection in here - we just pick up on the connections in the rest of the building," so I sat down and checked my laptop and sure enough - there were THREE wireless connections in that building (an office complex) alone - but just then the fucking battery died and there weren't any plugs handy, so I knew I'd have to find a cafe and surf for connections where I couold also plug the laptop in.

A few blocks across the street - Sinbad's. It sorta looked like it might be a coffee shop, but I walked in and realized it was a BAR with a Happy Hour that ran from 11am (11am!!!!) - 7pm - $2 pints on EVERYTHING - along with cigars and hookahs for rent and shit. This was *not* going to be a conducive working environment. I walked in looking dazed, and there was a cat behind the counter who wanted to help, and I said, holding up the laptop and feeling exasperated, "Shit, man, I'm just trying to cop a wireless connect so I can check my fucking mail." And he said (much to my surprise) "Dude - we have free wireless here - let me get you the code and you're set, bro."

Set. We've searched all over this town and the only actually FREE WIRELESS we've been able to find is in a weird-ass shithole bar with cheap beer and fine lookin' broads. Fuck Starbucks. Fuck hipster "indy" coffee shops that wanna charge $5 a day to use wireless. In this place it's free - and I *could've* ordered the coffee instead of the beer, but when in Rome...you drink and 'net and hope for the best.