Michael Jackson Verdict Watch

I'm sitting in front of my computer, waiting. Waiting with the rest of the world about what the ury has decided in the Michael Jackson case. I wouldn't even have known if I hadn't received - of all things - a "blog survey" from MIT, asking me about my blog. I clicked the link, for the fun of it, and my browser (Firefox) wasn't supported by their dumb survey. But I was intrigued by what kinds of questions they'd have, so I opened up IE (yes, I still have a copy for emergencies) and ended up on the YAHOO! home-page (my mom configured IE for her tastes) and there it was - a link to a "live video feed" to the reading of the verdict - and suddenly, it was time to play "Kill the Jacko."

I could feel the frenzy in my veins - that feeling that the whole wide world was at the edge of their seats waiting for this stupid trial to be over. I was starting to feel left out, staring at the link, so I gave in and clicked it - and my browser crashed almost immediately, which I imagine has been happening all over today.

Microsoft blamed RealPlayer - and they may have been right, because when I tried to open it manually, it said I'd never finished my stupid setup. About once a year I want to see video on the web, and here it was, that moment had arrived, and so I had to go through some setup - only to be informed I needed some kind of super-premium subscription in order to view it.

FEH!

I switched on the Real TV. I almost never watch TV unless I'm watching a DVD, and I found my way to CNN, only to discover that while i could see it (in B&W) I couldn't hear anything - I seem to have basic cable and no "premium" cable. So I went to the BBC and opened up their feed. And guess what? I'm watching BBC now from my computer, listening to British accents explaining to me the nuances of US child molestation law.

Almost as scary as the Jackson case, huh?

Everyone is waiting, they tell me, for the live video feed that will be read by Lorna Frye, the court clerk who is charged with being the voice of Michael Jackson's destiny, the James Earl Jones of ....oh wait - here she is!!!!

1) Not guilty of conspiracy!

2) Not guilty of lewd acts upon a minor child!

3) Not guilty of a lewd act upon a minor child!

4) Not guilty of a lewd act upon a minor child!

5) Not guilty of a lewd act upon a minor child!

6) Not guilty of attempting to commit a lewd act upon a minor child!

7) Not guilty of administration of an intoxicating beverage with the intention of committing a felony.

8) Not guilty of providing alcoholic beverages to a person under the age of 21

9) Not guilty of administering an intoxisating agent with the intention of committing a felony.

10) Not guilty of administering an alcohol beverage to a peron under the age of 21.

11) Not guilty of administering an intoxicating agent with the intention of committing a felony.

12) Not guilty of providing alcohlic beverages to a person under the age of 21.

13) Not guilty of administering an intoxicating agent with the intention of committing a felony.

14) Not guilty of administering an intoxicating agent with the intention of committing a felony.

Yes, MICHAEL!!!!!! FUCK YEAH!!!!!