Michael Jackson, Acquited Why I Care

It was only a very short while ago, like maybe an hour, since I posted my pleasure at the verdict in the Michael Jackson. Elation and jubilation are more like it, and I've had friends ask me why it matters to me one way or the other. And I'm going to tell you why, right now.

First of all - I'm SICK-TO-DEATH of celebrity trials. Sure, O.J. was much worse than this one, but every eighteen months or so (as soon as the last one is over with) Hollywood treats us to its seamier underbelly with some absurd trial that is given wall-to-wall coverage on all the networks and CNN and too many websites to count. These trials tend to crowd out whatever is *really* happening in the culture (like the 10 Downing Street Memo, for example) until everyone on earth seems to be coated with the wet sticky goo of said spectacle, and totally oblivious of reality.


Secondly (and this is pretty cynical, so maybe you want to go read something insipid) when it comes to Michael Jackson, I've always maintained with absolute certainty that "if Michael Jackson really wanted to molest little boys, he could go to Thailand and buy one off the street.

But in this particular case, that's not even the half of it. Since 1992, when prosecutors in California first went after Michael Jackson for alleged child molesting, a parent would have t have been living under a goddamn ROCK not to have any aforeknowledge of Michael Jackson's alleged disconnect about sleeping with little boys. Thus, it always amuses me to no end when these people "suddenly" discover that maybe, perhaps, allowing their kids to spend the night at Michael Jackson's house (or any other other adult single male in their late forties) maybe isn't such a swell idea.

If California prosecutors like the shit-for-brains that just blew this case to pieces by dealing with wack jobs like this particular parent and her kids are really serious about ending child molestation by Michael Jackson, then I think it's time for interviews between parents of Michael Jackson's victims and prosecutors to start looking a little like this;

Prosecutor: So you say Michael Jackson molested your kids?

Parents: That's right.

Prosecutor: And this abuse occured while you allowed them to spend the night with Michael Jackson in his private room at his private estate?

Parents: That's right.

Prosecutor: Uh-huh. And I suppose I can assume that once you get me to pursue my case, you'll turn around and use it as a means to file a civil suit?

Parents: Well, I...

Prosecutor: You are under arrest for the willful conspiracy to enable Michael Jackson to molest your children, and I'm going to charge with pimping as well, since I assume that while this was going on, you were accepting gifts of shopping sprees from Michael Jackson on Rodeo Drive...

Parents: It was just a fifty thousand dollar tennis bracelet!

Prosecutor: Okay, come on, let's go.

To sum up: Michael Jackson is a world-reknowned alleged child molester. Any parent who allows their kid to spend the night with him and then cries wolf should be IMMEDIATELY SUSPECT as a con-artist, and should be arrested for pimping and conspiracy. End of story. Prosecutors who aren't interested in this approach aren't really especially interested in ending child molestation or have any interest in the children in question - they are, as was this git in Santa Maria, a grand-standing "I'm tough on crime" publicity seeker who wants to make some kind of name for himself. And that's just wrong.

Third - and last - this morning when I opened up my mailer I saw a headline that I ran from - "Jackson's Hidden Accuser - Racism." I can't tell if this is the reason I am happiest or not, but I am about as happy as a pig in shit that we don't have to have a replay of the Rodney King debates where a man who is RICHER THAN GOD gets to have the race card pulled in his name by a bunch of whiny, self-righteous, hand-wringing white liberal academics. Had Michael Jackson spent one day in jail, we would have been subjected to this kind of nonsense for months on end - never mind that the man has had more plastic surgery than Liz Taylor or that he really has said on British television that sleeping with little kids is "innocent" - all that reality would have been thrown away in the name of a race (black) that Michael Jackson has spent most of his life and MILLIONS of dollars trying to bleach out of himself.

Now, no one gets to pull that card in the name of Michael Jackson. And the rest of us get to breathe a much needed sigh of relief that on some level, justice has been served.